Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
