But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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