There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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