She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
