She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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