guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
