I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize