I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
