i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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