I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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