I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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