do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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