if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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