I'm gonna have a badass scar
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
