She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
