So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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