I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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