You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize