It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
