lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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