apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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