ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
