BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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