I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
