wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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