Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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