It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
