I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
