Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize