i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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