apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
