My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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