I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you win again, gameday.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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