Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize