My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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