TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
