You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i will never coherently bang her
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
