i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
