hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
