I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
3 2 1 whiskey
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
