Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
