Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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