She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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