Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
