I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
