??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
