I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
