Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
