drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
