Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
