We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sext me about skeletons
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
