Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
