I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Pappa wants mamma naked
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
