haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you still have your period?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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