Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
