Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
honey bunches of taint.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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