i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
