You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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