You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
