just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
