Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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