So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize