Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
