dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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