I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
