is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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