U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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