So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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