Grow some girl-balls and come out already
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
