yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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