Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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