you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
