Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
