just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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