Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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